Tweets is Watching: Iggy Azalea and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Iggy-Azalea

Iggy Azalea is a polarizing cultural figure whose music has both topped charts and inspired heated debates across the Twitterverse. It is often forgotten that she, like every other celebrity and every other person on Earth, is also a human being.

It is an inarguable fact that Iggy blew up last year. “Fancy” was number one on the Billboard charts and “Black Widow” reached number three. She was a staple of Top 40 radio; you could often find her blasting on two, if not three different FM radio stations simultaneously as you scrolled through the channels on your morning commute. American popular culture took Iggy Azalea and turned her into a star.

Iggy’s cultural significance has not been without controversy, especially with regard to Twitter. She has had multiple reported Twitter beefs, most notably with Azealia Banks, and the fallout of their various Internet encounters have gone on to include the likes of Q-Tip, Jill Scott, and B.o.B. Iggy is no stranger to the rage that the Internet can hold.

This year, Iggy was nominated for some Grammys including Best Rap Album, and while the uproar to promote her music was fairly loud in 2014, the noise the Twitterverse made last night about her potentially winning an award for rapping was like an airhorn aimed at your eardrum in comparison.

Many began to put Kanye-centric hopes out onto the Interwebs in case the worst were to happen.

The fear of an impending Iggy rap victory was so visceral, BuzzFeed even prepared a listicle of .gifs to help us cope for what fearful reality we might soon exist in.

New York Magazine even politely expressed their hopes against Iggy.

Fortunately for Iggy, the award for Best Rap Album is not televised, meaning that the venom of the Internet would not reach her while Twitter was at its highest capacity.

As it turns out, the terrifying reality of living in post-Iggy-Grammy-winning world did not come to pass, as Eminem took home the trophy Best Rap Album of the year. The Internet could breathe easy again, knowing that Iggy had not been recognized as writing the best rap album by a group of people whose opinions on rap we would never listen to on any other day.

Many were pleased. Note that these tweeters felt #blessed that Iggy had not received her award, yet did not acknowledge Eminem as their champion. It did not matter who won, as long as Iggy lost.

In fact, even the Huffington Post was more concerned with Iggy’s loss than Em’s victory.

To their credit, there were some that gave Marshall Mathers praise for slaying the Iggy that was so feared.

But there were also a few people who were thinking a few steps down the road. Sure, Iggy had not won a Grammy. But Eminem had won a Grammy. What did that mean for our Internet society moving forward? Might there be sides to this story we did not previously consider due to a fervent desire to express displeasure with the idea of Iggy winning an award?

So yeah. Cause and effect. Iggy did not win the Grammy. Eminem did. Is society better for it? No. Not because Em winning the award was a bad thing, but because both were nonevents. The only impact that the Eminem winning a Grammy had on reality was to change some headlines that would be published on the Internet. Because, again, I want you to remember, the Grammy Awards don’t matter.

Unfortunately, the collective energy of the Internet rejoicing at her loss was only the second shittiest thing to happen to Iggy Azalea yesterday, as she took to the tweets herself to handle some creepy business.

There’s a lot to unpack here. The fact that Papa John’s was Iggy’s favorite pizza, when it is clearly an inferior product in comparison to its competitors. The idea that the best way for Iggy to handle this situation was to take to Twitter and put the Papa John’s account on blast. The use of #DamnShame as a hashtag. All of these are interesting nuances that give us a glimpse into the mind of Iggy Azalea.

Then, @PapaJohns had the #balls to reply with a “lol sorry!” and attempt at the weakest of jokes.

To which Iggy came back with a stern threat for Papa John to make things right or lawyer up.

Now this story had already been covered by media outlets much larger than I, mostly with the tweets embedded and a quick explanation of why Iggy was going off. It became a story that shows up on the side of your Facebook feed and gets shared across different social media platforms with commentary ranging from things like “OMG Papa Johns leave Iggy alone” to “Why is this bitch always complaining? Her music sucks. Who cares about her pizza?” You know, just the Internet doing its Internet thing.

Iggy apparently saw these blogs and decided to put a bit more out there for all of use to chew on.

Could’ve been a bit more PC there Iggy, but I get what you’re going for. Please continue.

Totally valid points.

Again, totally valid points.

Also totally correct.

Now, part of me is paranoid, because today is apparently “National Pizza Day” and thus this could all be a hoax for marketing purposes. But I really don’t think that’s the case, as Iggy is really selling her anger. With hopes that this is not a mutual ploy between the two parties for the purposes of stealing post-Grammy headlines from Kanye, let’s discuss why this is actually sort of serious.

America may not have thought that Iggy deserved a Grammy, and whatever that’s totally cool, because again, Grammys don’t matter.

But Iggy does deserve answers. Because this interaction, as silly as the characters and setting are, does actually matter. Iggy is straight up correct. Corporations can’t go around fucking with the privacy personal information, and then try to make a joke out of it later. Further, they can’t look at a situation where they have already screwed up profoundly and think to themselves, “You know what, this is a good moment for us to show off what a hip #brand we are.” It’s crazy.

Just earlier today Gawker posted that brands are not your friends. It is crazy that this is a concept that needs to be explained. It states (more eloquently that I will here) that brands have no good will; that they exist for the sole purpose of separating you from your money in order for the brand to continue to thrive. More than anything, it reinforces that brands are not people. People have empathy and emotions and are capable of regretting the actions of their past.

@PapaJohns is not a person. Iggy Azalea is.

You can hate her music and think she’s awful. You can think it’s absurd that she was even nominated for a Grammy. But please, do not side with Papa John in this series of less-than-ideal events. Side with humanity.

Let’s strive to create an environment where #brands do not feel like they have an incentive to look hip in a serious situation that has brought them national attention. It’s bullshit that Papa John’s is getting a ton of free press out of this incident and it’s bullshit that I am contributing to it in my own way.

But it is my sworn duty.

So tread lightly @PapaJohns, because we are on to you. We know what you are doing and we think it’s awful and from now on we’re ordering Dominoes because we trust the app to keep our information safe.

Until that delivery shows up at your door, Tweets is Watching.

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This entry was posted in Life, Music Other Than Kanye West, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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