A Comprehensive List of Things I’m Thankful for This Year


Family, friends, snow, my house, turkey, gravy, stuffing, potatoes, pies, ice cream, Portuguese sweet bread, family recipes, fireplaces, my puppy Rosie, her newfound ability to poop outside, and SportsCenter playing in the background of my every moment.

Football, the Eagles, Connor Barwin, Shady McCoy, Darren Sproles, Chip Kelly, the ability to defend the fade route, the new college football playoff, gambling, hypothetical gambling, The Hypothetical SuperContest, Tuesdays with Horry, Rory, Brian, Jordy, and the crew.

Sundays, Ray, Buffalo Wild Wings, medium, spicy garlic, hot barbecue, and buffalo rub, Bud Light, high definition televisions, living in a time where I can watch eight football games at once, tradition, white undershirts, bits, superstition, controlling the universe, faith, winning, backdoor covers, Odell Beckham Jr., miracles, sports, home dogs, special teams, punt coverage, Aaron Rodgers, JJ Watt, RUSSELL HUSTLE BUSTLE WILSON, and Derek Carr.

Beer, Victory Headwaters, DirtWolf IPA, Stone IPA, Jameson, Jameson Gingers, Yuengling, drinking with friends, drinking alone, drinking outside, beer gardens, drinking on roofs, drinking where I can smoke, Yellow American Spirits, drinking in parks even though you’re not supposed to, trees, oxygen, flowers, smells, brisk morning air, and days without humidity.

Philadelphia, friends with couches, Carolyn, Chelsea, Emily, Amanda, and Brandon, New York City, more friends with couches, JR, Peter, Tyler, and another Peter, Baltimore, more friends with couches, Leah, California, family with couches, all of my aunties (so many we could have an auntie team), beaches, beaches in December, the cities I want to spend more time in, London, the London crew, friends that would throw up the ROC with me, busses, Paris, Chicago, Barcelona, Boston, the ability to travel, home, West Chester, friends who used to have couches, Sean, friends who hook me up at Wawa, Boom and Vinnie, Temple, Fordham, Owls, Rams, mock trial, teammates, teamwork making the dream work, schooling kids, and winning.

Sports, the people that bring sports to me, Jon Gruden, Torico, Al Michaels, Collinsworth, Bill Simmons, Klosterman, Grantland, Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan, Mallory Rubin, Emily Yoshida, people believing in me, dreams, learning from mistakes, the knowledge that I can better myself, fighting, writing, OwlSports Update, Brooklyn, the crap part of SoHo, the Men in Blazers, soccer, Messi and Diego Costa, Tottenham Hotspur, Eriksen, EPL, relegation, Gus Johnson, Ian Darke, Taylor Twellman, rabona goals, the beautiful game, Landon Donavan, Clint Dempsey, Mix Diskerud, Kyle Beckerman, 60-yard wunderstrikes, Jermaine Jones, Tim Howard and believing that we can win.

Technology, Twitter, MacBooks, the Internet, the ability to instantly know whatever inane piece of trivia I desire, the ability to know inane facts without looking them up, ridiculous records in sports, Bob Cousy recording 19 assists in one half of an NBA game, Wilt averaging over 48 minutes a game in 1961, interconnection, retweets from writers that I respect and enjoy, @netw3rk, @sheaserrano, WordPress, the fact that I have almost made it to 100 posts on ShittyBanter, my social media presence, and old profile pictures.

Pop culture, Kanye West, Yeezus, objectivism, people who let me get on a soapbox and explain why Yeezus is dope, Chance, love, 14,400 minutes, Childish, swagger, Kendrick, power, Jay, empires, Matt & Kim, booty dancing, regular dancing, festivals, Coachella, Bonnaroo, everyone that helped me with Festival Bingo, Sean, Amanda, Leah, Alli, and Ray again, Andre 3000, Cheers Elephant, OutKast, ATLiens, fish, grits, all that pimp shit, Spoon, They Want My SoulAcid Rap, The Naked and the Famous, dancing with strangers, CHVRCHES, Amsterdam, The Great American Novel, The All-About, A Tribe Called Quest, Justin Timberlake, The Strokes, Albert Hammond Jr., tasty guitar riffs, Daft Punk and Giorgio.

Television, Archer, Jon Benjamin, Dan Harmon, Justin Roiland, Rick and Morty, the multiverse, Chris Pratt, The LEGO Movie, everything being awesome, The Fast and Furious, family, living life a quarter-mile at a time, The Rock, Vin Diesel, the memories Paul Walker left me with, fast cars, beautiful women, Ludacris, Tyrese, Speed Racer, colors, stand up comedy, Hannibal Burress, Pete Holmes, Louis CK, Tig Notaro, Saturday Night Live, camping on the streets of New York City, Bill Hader, Pete Davidson, Weekend Update, Broad City, GIRLS, Lena Dunham, laughs that distract you from pain, laughs that heighten your joy, and laughs that make you cry.

The rest of my life, what is to come, my upcoming graduation, the experiences I’ve already had, the experiences that are soon to come, my 23rd year of life, my fingers, my keyboard, my blog, my followers, words, turns of phrase, puns, alliteration, assonance, consonance, communication, any form of wordplay really, the fact that anyone reads my writing, the fact that you read my writing, the thought that someday my writing might make someone laugh in a way that distracts them, heightens their joy, or makes them cry.

And finally, from the bottom of my heart, I am thankful for you.

Have a wonderful day.

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