The Trillest All-Star

Brandon Phillips

Last night I was blessed with the good fortune of knowing someone that had an extra ticket to the MLB All-Star Game and knew I liked baseball. I got invited to the game at 10am and immediately said yes, as I am always willing to ruin my sleep cycle in order to attend anything that might qualify as a “once in a lifetime” opportunity.

The game had many highlights, none of which were Phillies related.

The game had a few lowlights, most of which were Phillies related.

But there was one highlight for which I was not at all prepared. Beyond Mo’s amazing entrance. Beyond Neil Diamond. Beyond a member of the Canadian National Guard absolutely DESTROYING “Oh Canada” (which apparently was not broadcast on television and is impossible to find online, which is kind of sickening to me).

Beyond all of those things, my heart was struck by getting to know the at-bat music of the world’s greatest baseball players.

You see, the selection of at-bat music is a fine art. Players essentially have two options:

  1. One classic song that you stick with your entire career (Mo with “Enter Sandman”, Chase Utley with “Kashmir”).
  2. Attempt to stay current with the hip hop scene and pick songs that your crowd will be hyped to hear.

This looks easy, but really it isn’t. Choose a song too pretentious or too ill-fitting and all of a sudden the portion of the crowd that is hyper-aware of your at-bat music (which to be fair, might just be me) will mock you for the rest of the game.

Prime example: Miguel Cabrera came out to “Mercy” last night, and while I was hyped to hear on of my favorite songs again, I was also delighted to learn that Miggy’s hip hop tastes are approximately a year behind the times. I bet he doesn’t even know about Yeezus yet.

So it was the middle of the first inning. I had my beer and my hotdog and was ready to settle into some baseball. And then, all of a sudden…

Brandon Phillips, second baseman for the Cincinnati Reds, woke up in a new Bugatti.

WHAT A SONG TO PICK. I was so excited. I immediately texted a friend who simply replied, “Dude, Brandon Phillips did wake up in a new Bugatti.” It was true.

Nay, it was trill.

I spent the next few innings on air, in disbelief that I was actually present at the All-Star game, but in the back of my mind, I was really just waiting for Brandon Phillips to get up to the plate again so I could start dancing. My moment came in the 4th inning, but as Phillips walked out to home plate, there was no Ace Hood to be had.

Instead, Kendrick Lamar’s “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe“.

WHAAAAAAAA. IT WASN’T EVEN THE RADIO EDIT.

I had never heard of a player having two at-bat songs in rotation, let alone two songs of this caliber. After the game, I began googling in an attempt to get to the bottom of the situation. Before I gave Brandon Phillips so much credit, I needed to make sure that this wasn’t just some fluke for the Summer Classic. I stumbled across a Reds blog that informed me that Brandon Phillips has not two, but FIVE at-bat songs, each one triller than the next.

  •  “Hello” by T.I, (start at beginning)
  • “Don’t Kill My Vibe” by Kendrick Lamar (start at :23)
  • “Chosen One” by Future & ROCKO (start at :10)
  • “U.O.E.N.O.” by Rocko (start at 1:30)
  • “Bugatti” by Ace Hood (start at :10)

So while last night might have been a night for the American League to celebrate homefield advantage in the World Series, and a night for the entire league to praise the greatest relief pitcher of all time, I wanted to make sure that the contributions of Brandon Phillips don’t go unnoticed.

You have to give props to a guy that can get this little kid so turnt up.

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