The Perfect Bracket – Bracketology Part Three

"If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners." - Coach Norman Dale

“If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we’re gonna be winners.” – Coach Norman Dale

I figured it out everyone. After hours of tireless writing and Prezi-making, I finally made the perfect bracket. Additionally, I also finally made the perfect Prezi. Meet your Final Four Brackets:

The Breakdown:

Semi-Final: Mascots v. My Fourth Bracket

After thinking this much about the upcoming tournament, specifically about “alternative” ways to fill out your bracket, it eventually occurred to me that it might seem crazy to leave my money riding on blind chance/faith rather than my own insights and instincts. But I have to be honest, my insights and instincts have not treated me all that well in previous years. I have won one bracket league in my life, and finished in the money one other time. Usually, I am destined to one of two fates:

  1. Finish just outside the prize range due to my tendency to rely on an all-chalk bracket with only minor adjustments, being defeated because I didn’t have the guts to put a #5 seed through to the Final Four.
  2. Finish close to dead last because I thought it would be smart to pick a #3 seed to win it all (as I would be the only one to have them) and then watch that #3 seed proceed to lose in the first or second round (looking at you Georgetown 2010).

To put it simply, I don’t trust myself. This process wouldn’t make sense if in the end I went with a bracket that just came from my brain and not some arbitrary yet somehow all-knowing thought process such as analyzing the tenacity of students in costumes.

It comes down to what I want to be cheering for over the next three weeks. I don’t want to have to take the blame myself if my bracket fails. I don’t want to be in control of my own fate. I don’t want to have to cheer for my own correctness in order to be correct.

I want to cheer for Mascots. That’s what they’re there for.

Winner: Mascots

Semi-Final: Obama v. Names from a Hat

Another thing I don’t want to have to cheer for – Duke winning the title. Sorry Names from a Hat Bracket. #Baracketology2013

Winner: Obama

Championship Round: Mascots v. Obama

I like that Indiana is the title winner in both of these brackets. They were one of my two favorite teams to watch this year and I find it fitting that I’ll get to jump on their bandwagon full-force for [hopefully] the next three weeks.

The main difference between the two brackets comes in the South region where Obama has Kansas falling to Michigan and Florida making the Final Four. My first instinct is to say that this scenario is more likely than the Mascots Final Four teams, as the Mascot bracket relies too heavily on #1 seeds in a season where five different teams that were ranked #1 in the nation lost in five consecutive weeks.

But I am still picking the Mascots region. And here’s why:

When my friend Ray and I first sat down to initially examine the Mascots bracket, I was determined to be even-handed about it and let my selections be based solely on the merit of the man in the suit. But not every team had a man in a suit, so sometimes we had to get creative. It was then that I decided, because this is my thing and I can do what I want, that for the purposes of this bracket the official mascot of Indiana basketball would be the movie Hoosiers. This made me chuckle. And Hoosiers kept on winning. Hoosiers is better than a [James Madison] Duke Dog. Hoosiers is better company than a [NC State] Wolfpack. I like Hoosiers better than a [UNLV] Rebel and a [Butler] Bulldog. Hoosiers makes more sense than a [Georgetown] Hoya, whatever that is. And then against the Cardinals, well screw Rick Pitino. I never liked him anyway.

But I’ve always liked Hoosiers.

I have faith in my Mascots bracket. I am entering it in my money leagues, and I will take my financial comeuppance accordingly. Because no matter what logic our President used to make his final decision on Indiana, it can’t have been as much fun as mine.

The President didn’t get to Google pictures cheerleaders and Mascots and adorable little Bulldogs. The President didn’t get to watch this video seven times in the past two hours:

I’ll bet The President didn’t even bother to make a single Prezi.

Prezi > Presi

Besides, I blame the government for enough things already. I don’t want to have to blame them for my bracket as well.

Congratulations Mascots. You have solved Bracketlogy.

Good luck this year.

(But first, one more story, if you care to hear it).

If you have been along for this ride into Madness with me since the beginning, you may have noticed that this final Prezi is a bit easier on the eyes. It’s true, as after three straight days of tirelessly manually inputting each of my sixteen original brackets into the presentation program, the thought finally came to me to make their creation simpler. Rather than copying and pasting my way through hours and hours of data entry, my mind was opened to the idea of saving the pictures of the brackets that I had made on ESPN, and dragging the image into Prezi.


I spent a total of 8 frustrating hours staring at my computer making those first four Prezis. This last one, with the help of my new method, took me 15 minutes. At first, I was ridiculously mad at myself. How did it take me so long to figure this out? Wouldn’t this have been the first logical thought of any logical person?

But those thoughts quickly waned.

I soon realized that this was the whole point of this project. In my quest to create the perfect bracket by selecting my bracket from a bracket of brackets, I had finally stumbled across the way to create the perfect bracket of brackets. It was a long journey, but here was a tangible sign that this could actually work.

I have made my bracket. My Perfect Bracket. And I could not be more confident in its inevitable success.

Let the Madness begin.

Go Hoosiers.

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2 Responses to The Perfect Bracket – Bracketology Part Three

  1. The Cutter says:

    Good luck. Too bad you might get audited now for not going with the Prez

  2. Pingback: The Perfect Bracket – Revisited | Shitty Banter

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