Last night, DeAndre Jordan of the Los Angeles Clippers did this.
It was violent.
It was nasty.
It made my Twitter and Facebook accounts blow up simultaneously.
It made DeAndre make this face:
What I am getting at is DeAndre Jordan’s dunk made a lot of people feel a lot of things. It made those little kids at the Staples Center really happy. It made Blake Griffith smile. It made Brandon Knight’s mother feel awful. And it made me scream “HOLY SHIT” while finishing up my shift waiting tables.
I had to contain my reaction last night because we still had customers in the restaurant. It was a difficult task. I had a lot of feelings I wanted to feel.
Dunks are amazing feats. There are very few things more “superhuman” than superior dunking ability. And when something like this happens and shatters the frame of reference that we collectively observe the art of the dunk through, things need to be accounted for. ESPN and every sports blog that exists has already run “BEST DUNK OF ALL TIME?” headlines, but I don’t want to discuss that, as after New Rochelle, I am trying to be more careful with my use of superlatives.
So in order to put this dunk into context, here is a list (in no particular order) of things that have happened in reality that I find less impressive than what DeAndre Jordan did in LA last night.
1) Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger landing this plane on the Hudson River after flying through a flock of geese.
2) Felix Baumgartner jumping out of a weather balloon and falling faster than the speed of sound on his 24 mile journey back to Earth.
5) Kiwi Camera, who began his time at Harvard Law School at the age of 17, and graduated magna cum laude 3 years later.
But the craziest part of DeAndre Jordan’s dunk is that it is only the second-most impressive thing that a human being accomplished this weekend.
Sorry, but Justin Timberlake did this Live from New York on Saturday Night.