Kanye Got Pregnant And I Was There

Last night Kanye got pregnant and I was responsible.

Well, not exactly.

Well, not at all.

Last night Kanye announced on stage at the Revel in Atlantic City that Kim Kardashian would soon become his first ever baby mama.

Had I found out the news of the Kimye spawn on twitter like the rest of the world, I would’ve laughed, kicked myself for not getting tickets to the show, and then posted snarky comments on twitter (#watchthehighchair #watchthestroller #etc) in that order. But that was not to be the case on what would prove to be the second most memorable December 30th thus far in my life. Because when Kanye starting hinting to the crowd amid the breakdown of “Runaway” about how “God had changed his plans” I was in the room listening. I turned to a friend, “He’s going to announce Kim is pregnant.”

“Shut up.” he replied.

To me it was the only outcome that made sense. I had seen Kanye perform “Runaway” on three previous occasions, and each time, he had given an autotuned monologue halfway through the song that related to what was happening in his life. Usually he sang “If you love someone tonight / Hold on to them tight” (Summerfest 2011) or asked the crowd “Did I make you Runaway…yeah…yeah…yeah?” (His “Live at Coachella” Set).

But all of a sudden, “God had changed our plans / Because you havin my baby.”

This was hardly hard evidence, but I felt the need to tweet the news out, not as fact, but just enough so the world would know that I knew first. And more importantly, I needed to tell Rembert.

So I tweeted to him.

Tweet sent. A second later I recognized my error of “your” vs. “you’re” and felt dismayed; why should Rembert believe me, nay, why should the world believe me if I can’t even use proper grammar? This is the type of thing that I quietly criticize the rest of the Internet for doing, never myself. But then I realized that regardless of any spelling mistakes, I was in a position I had never been in before.

This information is important.

I had found myself at the center of news. News that I could actually break and it would actually matter.

Not that the news would matter to my personal life, or to most people I know, but to a significant number of other human beings this was real news. I was no longer just emptily grasping for attention from Rembert; I was reporting.

I tweeted again.

I thought about the larger entity that is “news media”. In that moment, I wondered if things were going crazy at TMZ or on Perez Hilton’s twitter feed. As a semi-aspiring writer/journalist I wondered if there were any hectic scenes akin to those in The Newsroom with some producer yelling at an intern to find more people tweeting about it to confirm it as reportable fact. I had the potential to be one of those tweets.

Then Kanye asked us to “Make some noise for my baby mama.”

So I tweeted.

And Rembert retweeted me. (OMG)

And I had officially broken news. At least I am going to say that I did. And it felt great.

I do not know if I was the first civilian to recognize Kanye II as reality. I doubt I was. But it was amazing to be in a place where something was happening that a bunch of people would want to know about.

Crap. I misspelled “guerrilla”. COME ON IPHONE.

I hope that I look back on this particular night as a big deal in my life. Not because the kin of Kimye will go on to do great things (marry Blue Ivy, go triple platinum, get Blue Ivy pregnant, announce it at a concert, etc.); but because I’m pretty sure that my experience last night might qualify me as a journalist in some circles. There were approximately 5,000 people in that venue last night. Maybe half of them had twitter. Maybe half of those people had their phone out when the moment happened. And maybe I type a little faster than those other people who had their phone’s out.

It is possible that I broke the news about Kim Kardashian being pregnant with the child of Kanye West.

Last night Kanye got pregnant and I was responsible, possibly.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Rembert Brown just made it official that I broke this news and validated my entire existence. See here.

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5 Responses to Kanye Got Pregnant And I Was There

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